Vent!

I guess the word "no" has escaped my vocabulary again. I don't know why it's so hard for me to tell people no. I can write it, I can think it, I can even use it in a sentence, but when the time comes for me to actually use it - I can't.

I'm so angry right now that it's scary - I want to cry. Today I took my cousin to take her road test. She calls me at 6:50am so I can take her to practice before the test. I went to bed at like 4:30am - I figure I'll just come home afterwards and go to sleep and veg for the rest of the day since it's my last day off before going to work tomorrow so I didn't mind the early call. Then she calls me back, it seems that her dad has surgery planned for today and can't take the train home afterwards and needs someone to go get him. Since he has to be there early I figure he'll get out early and I'll be home maybe by 1pm tops. I agree to do it, but after agreeing I instantly regret it. There is no way I am going to be home by 1pm! a)I have to drive into the city b) it's freaking surgery! I don't care if it's same day or not anything can happen. Plus who am I to say how long his recovery time will be? This is my area of expertise (or atleast it's suppose to be) to know better than that.

Fast forward to now. They made him go in early but really he isn't scheduled to go in until 2pm. This is when I get upset at myself! Now I have to drive into the city at 3pm in city traffic to go get him. I seriously want to cry, like seriously. I'm tired and I can't go to sleep now because I have to wash my hair (since I can't do it later on and it looks like a bird's nest) My entire day is ruined, I just remembered I was suppose to go shopping for my mother yesterday and since I had nothing major planned for today I decided to leave it for today which means no sleep when I get back. I'm going to have a major headache after sitting in traffic. I took out all of my frustrations on Kelly and my other cousin and feel like shit now for doing so. AND (!) if he knew about this surgery weeks ago why the F did he wait until the last minute (and I mean the last minute) to freaking ask me to go get him. I mean who thinks they can take the train home after getting done what he's getting done? He has to stay home for atleast 3 weeks from work and he's just gonna hop on the train afterwards?!?! I'm pretty sure the doctor explained to him before hand what type of transportation he'd need. I want to cry - I want to be alone and now I can't. I don't care if I sound selfish or bratty it's my day off and I should be able to do whatever I want to do especially on my last day off. My dad has reason sometimes, had this been us we would have had everything done last week. I don't know why my mother's family is so last minute with everything - I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!

Want to know the icing on the cake? No where knows where this place is at. They all say it's at my hospital. When they give me the addresses (because so far I have 4) I tell them that's not my hospital and they tell me it is. Hmmm don't you think I know where I work. Then two of the addresses are on the west side and the other two are on the east side.

On a happy note (because there is happiness in everything) Ana just came to me to show me how easy life can be and to not sweat it. I love how she just hops on my bed with her toys and sorts of chews on them like everything is ok. Thanks Ana for making me smile.

On a stitching note - there will obviously be no stitching today :-( I did get to a point yesterday on Dollhouse where I actually felt like I wasn't stitching forever and getting nowhere. I'll show a pic later. It's funny because I didn't get far at all but just getting one thing done was so ground breaking for me that I want to keep on stitching on it. K I'm going to wash my hair. TTFN